Good morning or evening I don't know when you logged on. My name is Johnnielynn and I am extremely anxious. I have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Over my 34 years of life I've had to learn to cope and how to function not just with it but inspire of it.
Where my anxiety began
It got worse
"If you're talking, you're breathing."
I still think about that 24 years later. I very regularly have panic attacks, at least once a day but they're not bad and I can keep it mostly under control. But I always think of that when I am having one.
With the panic attacks came ER visits. I didn't go every time, but this coincided with my sister developing asthma. So I was given breathing tests, I didn't have asthma, so the doctors told my mom not in so many words that I was faking. Trying to be like my sister. It wasn't until I was 14 I was trying to talk my mom into homeschooling me but my new doctor told her not too and instead put me on anti depressants. I'll admit that I was a bit bitter by that, but I got through highschool. I hated the meds and now as an adult honestly I can cope well enough. I don't take them anymore.
I don't fault the doctors telling me I was faking my illness' growing up. I feel bad that my mom had to suffer through my childhood and teen years with the emotional mess that I was.